When Jeff (name changed for privacy) met criminal defense attorney Ryan Pacyga, he wasn’t just facing criminal charges. He was facing the end of his life as he knew it — and nearly, his life altogether.
Jeff’s story is a stark reminder that behind every criminal case is a human being in pain. On the outside, he had what many would call “the perfect life.” A successful career. A beautiful home. A picture-perfect family. But inside, he was unraveling. Beneath the success, Jeff carried deep shame tied to unresolved trauma and a suppressed part of his identity.
“I had this 2% of my life that lived in the shadows,” he recalls. “I thought I was dealing with it. I wasn’t. I was just shoving it down.”
Eventually, Jeff made a devastating mistake: he placed a hidden camera in his home and recorded his stepdaughter. He was arrested and booked into Hennepin County Jail, where his life he had so carefully built collapsed entirely. And in the wreckage, he planned to end his own life.
A Lawyer Who Showed Up As a Human First
That’s when Ryan stepped in. Jeff had heard of Ryan’s reputation as one of the best criminal defense attorneys in Minnesota. What he didn’t expect was someone who would meet him with dignity and humanity at his lowest moment.
“He didn’t judge me. He was grounded, calm… confident in a way I couldn’t be. And then he shared part of his own story. He told me about his personal trauma. About how EMDR helped him.”
That vulnerability cracked something open in Jeff.
“I was shocked. But I also felt seen. Understood. It was the first moment I realized maybe I didn’t have to die.”
What Is EMDR?
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a proven psychotherapy treatment that helps people heal from trauma. It doesn’t rely on traditional talk therapy. Instead, EMDR works by helping the brain reprocess traumatic memories so they no longer have the same power over your emotions, behavior, or self-belief. It’s especially helpful for people carrying shame, PTSD, or deeply buried pain that hasn’t responded to traditional approaches.
“It’s what I call therapy for men,” Jeff jokes. “You don’t have to talk endlessly about your feelings. You just have to know what happened and want to move beyond it.”
At Ryan’s recommendation, Jeff reached out to an EMDR therapist. Jeff began the work.
From Self-Destruction to Self-Discovery
That therapy didn’t just help Jeff face his trauma, it gave him a second chance at life.
“I don’t live in fear anymore. I’m not hiding. I’m not ashamed of myself. I know what it feels like to care deeply about others, because I finally learned how to care for myself.”
Jeff eventually left his job, took a year to heal, and then began writing. His reflections on healing, relationships, and self-leadership resonated with thousands online. What started as personal recovery grew into purpose. Today, he coaches others, especially men, who feel lost, stuck, or broken by pain they’ve never processed.
And it all traces back to the moment Ryan Pacyga didn’t just act as a defense attorney, but as a compassionate, present human being.
“I tell people this changed everything for me. I’ve recommended EMDR to probably 2,000 people. I’ve seen it change lives — veterans, people with childhood trauma, people carrying guilt that’s shaped decades of their lives. Just like me.”
Beyond the Case
Ryan’s legal expertise is without question. But what makes him a lifeline for clients like Jeff isn’t just what he knows — it’s who he is. Someone who believes that people are more than their worst moment. Someone who understands the human toll of trauma, shame, and regret. Someone willing to connect on a human level to create real change.
“Ryan and my wife are the two reasons I didn’t kill myself,” Jeff says, voice catching. “And now I get to live a life that’s more authentic, joyful, and purpose-filled than I ever imagined.”